Why is it so hard?

This past Sunday was the 6th Annual Swing-A-Thon charity event at #39MinuteWorkout. (It was also our Erin’s 23rd birthday <3 . Love you Erin! Forever my baby, no matter what age.) Peter and I joined the event for the first time. All was just as David promised. It was a fun-filled 3 hour block of camaraderie with friends. Laughs. Lots of cheering for each other…and collectively, we raised over $29,000 for Casey Cares. WOW. Talk about a winning experience. It Felt So Good to be working on behalf of someone other than ourselves. The Human Spirit is Boundless when used for Good.

At the event, this beautiful, talented woman named Gina was snapping photos. She was the record keeper of this day in the “book of our history”. You can tell when a photographer transcends to become an artist when she glides through the room, practically unnoticed, sharing a moment about you, for you, with you, all with the lightest touch….and then with a click and a whoosh….she’s gone. On to another treasured moment.

Today, I was feeling down. Nah, be honest Diane. You were tearing yourself down, one knick, one chip, one negative thought at a time. You see, I’ve been slipping. I’ve LET GO. Been eating granola bars, ice cream, yes…my baby’s birthday cake. The first week it happened, I skipped my WW meeting and I promised I’d stop. Week two just passed. Seriously Diane, you have to stop. Today was day 1 of week 3. Can I stop? The Doubt began to scare me.

Then it happened. My image of myself was replaced by this one….

Gina pinged my Messenger, with a picture. A black and white image and these 8 words…

“I think you look like a badass here!”

I look up to the universe tonight and say a humble thank you.

Thank you for putting people in my way, that help me climb down off of my own back, and learn to appreciate myself. Appreciate what I have accomplished. No, simply appreciate who I am. Me. Not my weight, or my BMI or my dress size. Just Me. Thank you for allowing me to see myself through their eyes, in those moments when I am blind in my own.

I had to google what “appreciation means”. Yea, I know. It’s a common word. One that we say often enough…but do we really know what appreciation is? Do we? …and do you know what I found? Take a read of this definition….straight from Merriam Webster herself.

Appreciation”: recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something

Did you pick it up?

Enjoyment. En-JOY-ment of the good qualities of someone.

Man, when was the last time you stole a minute or two to enjoy the good qualities of YoURseLF! If you are like me, that would be a BIG FAT NEVER! We’re too busy seeing ourselves as a giant “human project plan”. Eyes on the prize to change ourself, to fix ourself, to be someone other than ourself. A better me, a new me, a different me.

Wheewwww….deep breath in. Deeper breath out.

Tonight, I’m sitting here at our dining table. Some political talking head is jibber-jabbering and making promises on the tv in the other room. But I’m just sitting here, with you, and with the picture Gina took of me this past Sunday. I’m enjoying myself…and what we did together on Sunday. And I think YOU SHOULD TOO!

I appreciate what I have done. What I’ve accomplished. That I can even swing a 44 pound kettlebell and look like a badass while doing it. When did THAT happen. Oh but Diane… didn’t “happen” at all. You MADE it happen girl. You and your badass self!

I’m taking a few minutes tonight and I’m enjoying being me, right now, this night, just as I am. I hope you are too. Revel in it. Roll around in it like when you were a kid jumping into a pile of leaves on a sunny October day.

I’m so grateful for Gina. She was our muse with her camera on Sunday. She floated through the room like a gentle breeze. She captured you too – in all your F.I.E.R.C.E moments. Can you feel it? I KNOW you can! EN-JOY IT.

Then we learn how to find more moments like this.

Ciao for now..Diane

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