Reality check. Diane — if you don’t change your mentality toward healthy eating — you will be running to lose the same 20 pounds…. for the rest of your life.
I began running this week, just like the schedule said. Marathon Brian warned me that it would be tough. To get back into it. And it is. That first mile tries to break me – each and every time. But I commit to it. I tell myself – “look, we are doing 1.5 miles, 2 miles, x miles — period. Now breathe. Breathe. Breathe”. and the Breathe mantra is what I repeat to myself, until I find that groove, where I forget. I forget that I want it to be over. And just run. I let myself just….Go.
It’s not easy…the running. but I push myself to do it. And Iove it afterwards. I even love remembering back to my running…it makes me feel good about myself — good that I have a competency at something hard. That makes sense, doesn’t it?? I imagine this is what great pianists or cellist must feel. They have tremendous competency at something most of us cannot even imagine. That’s how running feels for me. Even though I am no kenyan…..no, I’m just a junior gazelle….but, I really L.I.K.E. myself as a runner. I L.I.K.E the identity. Yup, that’s what happens when you fall in love with a vision. It feels good to BE Yourself! Once and for All.
So how do I fall in love with being a healthy eater?? I NEED to adopt that identity, I need to attach myself to it, and let it be just like the running. Sure…it will be hard. But …maybe I can learn to love how I feel about it at the end of the day. Maybe when I pull on the swim suit of my dreams, without the need for vegetable oil to get the d@mn thing up and over my hips. Maybe THEN, I will love being a healthy eater. I dunno. I just know that I MUST turn this corner. I’ve been on this same road toward weight loss for 3 years, and truth is….I’ve been dicking around for a lot of it. Sure, I’ve done great things, I lost 75 pounds. But then I gain 15 and have to lose the 15 AGAIN. Then 6 months go by and I gain the same 15 agian. And so on and so on.
It Is SUPER FRUSTRATING! And I HATE IT! Well Diane, the only way to put an end to it once and for all….is to make a change, once and for all.
What is there to lose? I mean..besides 60 more pounds! Lets do it. We begin right now.
Let’s do this — once and for all. We’ll do it for You Diane. You deserve it kid!
Ciao for now….Diane