Hey Diane, so how e.x.a.c.t.l.y. do you top a Marathon?? I mean, won’t everything you do next, feel…well…..less special??
Marathon Brian said it to me when I saw him on Tuesday, and I think he nailed it on the head. “Your first Marathon sets you free. You’re free“. I completely understand what he means. There is soooo much baggage that comes with being overweight. Soooo much baggage that comes with being an inactive couch potato. And the unfortunate truth is…..there’s STILL soooo much baggage that comes with change, ie. growing your way out of these things. For every day I felt s.t.r.o.n.g. — like the freakin’ Incredible Hulk! — there was also a day when I felt like a puddle of bubbles. Wet and soft and just soaking into the floor. The pendulum kept swinging back and forth – from the me I always thought I was — to the me I wanted so much to be. The momentum that kept the pendulum moving …was two famous old friends….FEAR and DOUBT. Two tough S.O.B.s.
Yea, even thought I was DOING all the work…..I was still afraid that the training somehow wouldn’t “work” for me. Nope, not for me. Because I’m a special case. I’m the couchiest couch potato. My fat cells are permanently affixed to my body, never to move or shrink. Activity and exercise won’t work their magic on me. Because, well…I’m….er….not Strong Enough….I’m….(are you REALLY going to make me say it??!!)….I’M WEAK, OK??!!! There, I said it, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!
LOL….yea….a puddle of bubbles. There WERE those days.
But….the past week….I have been living under a blanket of calm. My mind, my thoughts, my emotions, my self — have become calm. Dead calm.
The. Marathon. Set. Me. Free.
That doesn’t mean I took the magic elixir that has made running and exercising easy. LOL….if YOU find that magic elixir — remember to s.h.a.r.e.!! No, there’s no magic here. There’s just a degree of quiet confidence that has settled down upon me — and I look at challenges differently. I finally, f.i.n.a.l.l.y. KNOW that there is nothing deeply wrong with me — nothing that will keep me from losing weight — nothing that will keep me from reaping the benefits of effort spent exercising. There is NOTHING I can’t do — if I just pick myself up – and do the work. AMAZING, huh??
So…..you asked me how e.x.a.c.t.l.y. do I top a Marathon?? My answer is — by doing e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g!! Everything I never let myself do because of bum #1 (DOUBT) and bum #2 (FEAR). I’m going to try a spin class. My friend Lisa offered to let me go as her guest one day — and I want to do that sooo much! I’m going to try Zumba Toning. My friend Gerri hooked me up with a place called FiestaFit, and they are offering a free 1st lesson in January. I’m going this week! And mi amiga Yolanda and I are going to do this Hot Yoga she discovered when she was in Florida with her family. That’s exciting!! And I’m going to keep running. I’m going to pick up my speed, and push myself. I’m going to do the Rutgers Unite Half Marathon again in April. My heart beats faster just imagining that first spring day, and running outside again to the sound of chirping birds! I’m going to Coach my Erin to get her ready for her first 10K in August. Then…I’m going to head West to Disneyland for a very cool set of races out there. More on that soon.
But more than anything else — I’m going to Live. And Enjoy Life. And Keep Losing Weight. I’m going to take full advantage of my new-found freedom. My feelings are Alive and Electric. The only puddles of bubbles I see in my future…..will be warm, and sudsy, and in my bath-tub! Ahhh, Heaven!
Ciao for now…..Diane
Not only are you a great runner but you are a great writer as well. This was a fantastic blog. Very inspiring. And just like Ivy said on FB, there are people standing by, watching silently…preparing themselves to fly because of what you have done and continue to do. Wow! Way to go.
Carmen, you are so generous. Thank you. I often follow you on FaceBook and read all your writings…so you offer me high praise!!
How my journey has inspired others has surprised me, amazed me, and gratified me. Such a lesson that Life is indeed a Pay it Forward journey!
Ciao for now….Diane