My rainy mood

My rainy mood

I woke up early this morning to the sound of rain.  Not just any old rain — it was pouring buckets out there.  I lay in bed waiting for the alarm clock to sound, and just as I thought I had heard the heaviest rain I’d EVER heard — it poured HEAVIER!  Wow.

When my girls were really little – they would look out the window at the rain, and begin to cry.   They just LOVED playing outside so much, that a rainy day …. just made them sad.  As an avid gardener, I would tell them, “Don’t cry girls.  We need the rain.  Rain makes our flowers grow.”  It was amazing, and sentimentally sweet how that simple idea…..changed them forever.  From that moment on when they heard the rain — they would run to the window with excitement, “Mommy, Mommy Look — the flowers are growing!”  I’d come to the window and touch their soft baby curls with my fingertips, “Yes girls….look at all of our pretty flowers growing.”  They would cheer, and I would smile.  Love comes to us in life’s simplest moments.

My mood today is sad and blue.  Not for any reason.  Just because.  And I’m fighting myself not to feed my mood.  I lost it for a few hours today, and ate way too many almonds, and two too many peanut butter sandwiches.  I counted all my points, and even though I went over my weekly allowance….I’m determined NOT to keep eating and waste the week.  I’m going to stop right here, and gather my thoughts.  Gather myself.  Find myself again.

Relax.  Re-focus.  Let go.   Hold on.

I walked to the window, and said to myself…..”Mommy, look — the flowers are growing.”  In my memory, I thought for just a moment I could hear the two pair of little feet pattering through the house.   Shadows of the babies they used to be.  The flowers…..are not the only things growing…..

Ciao for now…..Diane

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