After driving home from work in Connecticut like a bat outta hell, I walked into the Wednesday night 6:30pm Weight Watchers Meeting in East Brunswick — where they serve up forgiveness on any given Wednesday!
Denise, our fearless leader, begins the meeting asking….so how was the week? What did you do this week that helped? Or not?
After a few stories of changes that people had made in their lives that lead to weight loss — I put my little paw in the air. When Denise called out my name, “Diane?”…. I felt the knot form in my throat.
I went on to tell them for a minute or so….that I was sad, and afraid of how fast the weight was coming back on. 2 pounds this week, 2 more the week before. 2 pounds every week of the month of October. 25 pounds I have gained back. And the worst part — I can’t stop it. At least that’s how it feels. Tears were dripping off my chin onto my work dress by the time I stopped. What happened next — was nothing short of a miracle.
Erica, beautiful tender AND tuff Erica was the first to say it. “Diane, you need to forgive yourself, and then move forward.”
E-X-H-A-L-E! Like I left a 10 pound pool of carbon dioxide in that room, kinda EXHALE. As soon as I heard the word out of Erica’s mouth, i knew she was right. I’ve been beating myself up for the weight I have gained. Every pound above my 197 pound low last January, is like a badge of shame sewn on tighter than any girl scout badge I ever earned!
Others began to tell their stories about how they had back-slided….and before you know it…they weren’t talking to me — they were talking for everyone. We all needed forgiveness that night. And probably every night since.
I’m in Florida at my mom’s house this week. Trying hard – EVERY DAY – to eat the way I should — the way I need. Every morning I wake up, and I imagine Erica’s face last Wednesday night — and I offer myself a little bit of forgiveness. So maybe my miraculous change didn’t happen today. But — I’m back in the dreaming business – and it might come (just a little) tomorrow, and a bit more the day after that, and so on, and so on…..
So in closing –what was the real lesson I learned the last week?? Physician, thou CANNOT heal thyself! Get THEE to a Weight Watchers Meeting! For somewhere in that room, is your own Erica — with words of kindness, and truth…made just for you.
Thank you! To Erica, and every one else in that room that night. To Erica, Denise, Shelly and hubby, Melodie, Sara, Ivy, and Colleen. I’m GONNA DO THIS! And when I do — there wont be enough B-R-A-V-O stickers in the room to give out for everything you have done for me along the way.
Good night all!
Cao for now…Diane