Another two miles, and No Walking — NONE! Marathon Brian’s email late yesterday afternoon encouraged me — and set my expectations. He told me not to expect miracles….that it was going to feel about the same as yesterday. And I was going to have to continue to fight the urge to stop. Is it too defiant to admit I was hoping he was wrong???? Well, he wasn’t. Come, I’ll tell you the whole thing.
I was tired this morning. Fighting some annoying poison ivy. (But that’s another crazy story.) Getting out there AND calling up the HELL YES attitude took an extra cup of coffee. But once I was out there, I steeled myself against one clear and present thought. Diane, there is only One Outcome here. One. 2 Miles, no Stopping. Ready, Set, Go. That was it. That was what I had to fight for. And I had to fight like my life depended on it. So, I did.
After the first mile, I began to notice….that it felt juuuust a little bit better. Better than yesterday. Oh…..make no mistake. Every breath in, every breath out was forced. I was focusing on emptying my lungs on the exhale, so I could get a BIG breath in. But that’s the thing. Even though it felt hard…my mind was freed up a bit more than yesterday, so I could focus on some of these other important things. My mind DID focus on my breathing. As I ran the downhill, my mind DID focus on relaxing my arms and letting them dangle at my sides, carried by gravity, to give them a break. My mind was free to do some of the other Homework that Marathon Brian mentioned yesterday. Yesterday, my brain was too busy fighting the urge, fighting the scream, fighting the walk! But today….was better. And I loved that!
The second mile was the same. Eyes on the ground, one step at a time, up “the hill. ” The last half mile was also a do-over from yesterday. Talking myself in…..From lamp-post — to lamp-post — to corner — to fire-hydrant. And yet….there I was — 25 minutes later at the fire-hydrant finish line. Feeling Accomplished. Feeling Awesome. Feeling Athletic. (giggle….I love that last one the best!)
Walking home, cooling off, I had time to take a peak at my Garmin watch. My time was 30-ish seconds longer than yesterday. But you know what, so many other things were better than yesterday. I could “feel” my pace. It was much much easier to slow myself down. To control it, ya know what I mean? And there at the end….as I approached the fire-hydrant finish line….I felt IT. Just a little bit. I felt like I could go further. Further than 2 miles. My finger tips touched IT, just for a few minutes……I touched “the switch.”
So those extra 30 seconds were soooo worth it. I gained something so much more valuable. I gained the knowledge that yesterday wasn’t a 1-time fluke. Nope, I could do it again today. And so now I know…I can do it again. and again. and again. I can’t wait for tomorrow……and 2 more miles 🙂
Ciao for now……Diane