I could feel I was having a good week Health Wise.  I was very active, did my scheduled running, and earned 54 Activity Points because of it.  Food-wise I was successful with my “Treat Myself Experiment” and was very able to keep to my commitment of Eating Only 1 of any treat I decided to have.  I kept to my 30 Daily Point limit every day, and consumed only 40 of my 49 weekly points.  I stay off the scale at home (per some great advice from Denise), because when I was getting on it daily, or multiple times daily, it really was all about game playing.  Can I eat this and get away with it?  Am I losing?  can I eat some of that and still be down by Saturday??   THOSE kinds of games.   However I wanted to get on the scale on Friday night to see where I stood.  I had a 1.6 pound gain last week from Thanksgiving…..er…. (Thanks Thanksgiving) and I am trying to get below 200 pounds by New Years.   So I fished the scale out of the linen closet and put it on the bathroom floor on the tile.  Ya know, sometimes the Universe intervenes, and you have to let go and let the cosmic forces take over.  That’s what happened in my bathroom Friday night.  I got on the scale and {drum roll please}…it said I weighed 0 pounds.  Zero.  As in nothing.   Yup, the damn scale was broken.  “Nope Diane, no weighing at home”, said the Universe.  Oh well, sometimes when your own weaknesses win you over, it’s good that the cosmic forces take over in your life.  So I rolled with it.  I tossed out the scale, I mean tossed it out, into the trash, like OUT OF THE HOUSE  kind of out.  And now, I am literally living without a scale in my home.  Me, on a diet and I do not own a scale.   Soooo Weird.  And yet I kinda feel good about it.  Lordy, Lord what has happened to me?  WHO AM I?  So I am embracing the reality that I am Weight Less at Home.  I am incapable of weighing myself in my home.  Home is a weight-free zone.  Yea, it’s still the same fact no matter how I say it.  Let me sit quietly with that thought for a moment.  Home is a weight-free zone.   Weight-free zone.  Home. is.  Free.  Yeah, I like it.  Nah, I think I love it.  I’m physically incapable of weighing myself and judging myself in the comfort of my own home.  I’m free of the knowing…the knowing what I weigh before and after pizza….before and after breakfast or lunch or dinner….before and after I put on my socks…..with light pants….with heavy jeans……I’m FREE, and I FEEL 100 pounds lighter because of it.

Once I realized I could never weigh myself again, unless it’s weigh-in day at my Weight Watchers meeting — I immediately felt great standing there in my new size 16 jeans that were already feeling too big.  I felt skinny, and successful, and the full “weight” (no pun intended) of all the pounds I have lost came down on me.  And I found myself in tears of joy in my bedroom.  With that scale in my bathroom, the only thing my mind allowed to matter was what I accomplished (or didn’t) THIS WEEK.  You know, the “what have ya done for me lately” syndrome.    And that was alot of pressure I was putting on myself.  Gotta lose, gotta lose, gotta lose…or else.  Or else what?  Or else I’m no good????  No way, I don’t believe those kind of thoughts anymore!!  I’m so good at my new weight, that my size 16 jeans are getting loose!!   So, now my scale is in the garage, waiting for garbage day and then it will go to the curb.  And I’m here in my bedroom, typing this post in my loose size 16 jeans, happy that the universe intervened and took my scale — feeling as if the weight of the world has been lifted from me.  Now I’m just going to eat like a normal person, keep teaching myself how to treat myself to 1 yummy something, help myself deal with stress with creative distraction, and on Saturdays….I will go to the Weight Watchers Center where Scale #1 patiently awaits me, and I will see what the Cosmos has in store for me.

This week at 730am, Scale #1 gave me a 3.8 pound loss, for a total of 72 pounds lost since my journey began almost 20 months ago.    Truth be told, I already KNEW that Scale #1 and I would be friends this week.   Because we all know — the good, the bad and the ugly doesn’t happen on the scale — it happens all the days of the week when I am NOT on the scale.  And the number didn’t really matter, although is sure did feel delicious!     I KNEW it would be a good week, because Nothing, Nothing felt better than  Living in Honesty with my food and activity this week.   I think I’ll have another serving of THAT please!!!

Ciao for now….Diane

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