First, my apology. I’m sorry I have been off the blog for so long. It was wrong, and even though I have my reasons, I owe it to myself (and to you) to keep current with this journey. When I first started the blog, I kinda promised myself not to put the negative out there, not to clutter the World Wide Universe with my drama. But I’ve come to realize….that’s not really very “real“. Life is full of good and bad, shiny and dull, ups and downs, and if I don’t allow myself to put it ALL out there, then what I am chosing to do is to silence myself. To “stuff the proverbial sock in it” when the downs come. Well, no more. This post is a short and sweet one to catch you up on last week, and then I’m moving on and putting it all out there.
Training week #10 ended last Sunday (Feb 26th) with a long run of 9 miles, and a weekly total of 22.5 miles. WOW. Week 10 represents the peak of my Half Marathon Training program. 22.5 miles in one week is the most weekly miles I will do on this journey. So, how did it go? Well, in a word….it SUCKED!
Nah, more truthfully…I SUCKED! I felt low, down, like a deflated balloon. On the positive side — I accomplished every inch of the 22.5 miles. On the negative side, I probably walked 1/3 of them. Yeah, my mental ability really flew out the window this week. The series of 3 mile runs I needed to do on Mon, Weds, Thurs, Friday….they might as well have been 30 mile runs. I was tired, and huffing and puffing, and quitting , and I could NOT for the life of me figure out what was going on. Why was this happening?? And of course, worrying about it, well…….JUST….Made…..It…..Happen….MORE! UGH!! STOP THE INSANITY!
I sat and thought, and worked and thought, and walked and thought, what was it? What was making me hit the down speed button on the…..er,…..um….treadmill? Voila. There it was. The d@mn treadmill. I hate that thing. I mean, Ok, hate is a strong word. The treadmill is Ok, it serves a purpose. But when given a choice I love running outside more. I love it. I love the fresh air, I love the blue sky, I love the puffy cotton candy clouds, I love the sunrises, and the sunsets, and seeing my shadow on the ground. I love the trees, and the friendly exercising people I meet along the way. It’s just My Place. It’s Mine. The Great Big Outdoors!
So, what was I doing on the treadmill? Well, the cold, cold early mornings of winter drove me inside, to the treadmill. And while I accept my reasoning for doing it as valid and purposeful……It’s OVER! No more! Outside I go……to where running is fun for me. I’m putting an end to the boredom. And I will let you know how it goes! Wish me luck.
I’m hoping this small, simple, but ever-so-important change….brings me back to my place of strength….brings me back to feeling…..well, …..Worthy!
Ciao for now…..Diane