The Ghost of the Old Me….

The Ghost of the Old Me….

Overcast skies were overhead as I biked to Weight Watchers this morning.  The temp was glorious.  Ooooh, I am getting excited, anticipating the change of seasons.  Fall, autumn, whatever you are called — come to mama!

The topic at today’s Weight Watchers Meeting was — “Ya Gotta Believe”.  F.R.E.A.K.Y!    I mean, that’s Karma calling out my name right?  Just yesterday, I was contemplating this very thought.  What you Believe….Is What is Gonna Happen.  So today’s topic for consideration was….What Do you Believe?  And When you Stop Believing — what do you do about it so you get Back to the Business of Believing?

When I chose to share — here’s what came out f my mouth.  {ParaPhrasing} “I like pushing myself to new goals.  But when I stop believing, it’s because of Fear.  I’m letting my Old Self convince me that my New Self can’t do what I’m trying to do.”  As I sit back and reflect on what I said — First, let’s celebrate that there is an Old Self and a New Self.  OHHH YEAH.  I am so dramatically changed from who I was a year ago, that there’s barely a resemblance between these two people.  I mean, we share a birthday, but  that’s it.  Nothing else…not even a shoe size.  I lost a shoe size in those pounds too!

So if so much has changed, why am I still listening to that Old Self?  What did she know that was so worth listening to anyway?  The answer is — Not much.  It’s just a habit that needs to be broken.  It’s hard at 46 years old — to venture out into the unknown (all 26.2 miles of it), without a Compass.  But you know what?  I’ve decided that it might just be even harder still — to venture out into the unknown with an Old Broken Compass, which only has a track record of sending me to the wrong place every single time.  So — I’m going into this one on my own, hands free, leaving the Old Girl behind.

More Karma!  My daily affirmation post-it notes served up this one today.  Get ready, it’s a good one:

It is not enough to take steps which may someday lead to a goal, each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.” — GOETHE

Every positive step I take feeds my confidence and determination.  So I’m going to stop tearing myself down for being imperfect, I’m going to stop SEEING the imperfect more clearly than I see the positive steps.  I think Marathon Brian is out there smiling.  I’m getting it dude, I’m getting it.  Hard headed.  Hard headed.

Tomorrow is Sunday.  Long Run day.  I’m going to do 4 miles.  Slowly.  With Determination.  Without Stopping.  No Walking.  As Slowly aS it Takes.  With Joy.  Hopefully with Somewhat Cooler temps.  But if not……Oh Well.

Ciao for now…..Diane

About Diane

Ciao! My name is Diane. I'm a wife, a mom, a working professional, and a Weight Watcher from New Jersey. I started blogging in 2011, at 45 years old, when I was training for my first Half Marathon at Rutgers on April 22, 2012. Since then, I've lost 80 pounds, completed my Half Marathon goal and gone on to train for and run my very first Full Marathon. On Jan 13, 2013, I ran the Disney Marathon in Orlando, Fl! What an incredible day. As the saying goes -- "The person who starts the race is not the same person who finishes the race." I am forever changed! So now we move on to the next phase of this journey! Come along. We're in this together!! Ciao for now!

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