It’s Sunday. And I spent it thinking about the 9 miles I didn’t run today.
9 miles is what the schedule asked fo today — and I just wasn’t ready. I’ve been missing runs and I knew I couldn’t do 9. I went to bed last night with intentions to get up. Or so I said. I asked Peter to set the alarm for 6am. I woke and took my gel. 45 mins later, I was supposed to get up and go. But I didn’t. The worry of 9 miles kept me in bed.
I spent the day doing a million errands. I was active and busy and ate pretty well. But the 9 miles I didn’t run…..well….I carried them like an albatross around my neck. Even now, as the night wears down….and I prepare for bed…..I’m bargaining with myself that maybe I can run 5 miles tomorrow to make up for what I didn’t do today.
My Inner Voice screams, “S.T.O.P. Diane!” Just let it go. Let the 9 miles go. It’s sooo not about the miles, 9, or otherwise. Just remember last time you ran this Half Marathon schedule. You weren’t READY to run 9 miles then either. LMAO…w.h.o. is e.v.e.r. ready to run 9 miles anyway?? But the difference between last time and this time is this. Last time……you weren;t scared. You got up, and went out the door with fierce tenacity. You went. And did it.
Suuuuureee….it wasn’t perfect. You didn’t run every step. It was a struggle. A fight. But you went out there, and fought the fight! And came home like a sweaty, ridiculous, happy mess!
Those memories of who I was back then, and how I chose to face my challeneges….really made an impact on me today. So, I’m heading to bed tonight, Sunday night, with a plan. No….I’m not running 5 miles. I’m not going to try to make up for the 9 miles I didn’t run. They are gone. Unimportant. What matters……ALL that maters….are the miles left in front of me in training….AND..what I choose to do with them.
Tomorrow is two miles. So. I’m going to run 2 solid, strong miles. Run. No messing around. I’m going to retrace my steps. Fight to find “the switch” again…..and get back on track. And pick up from here. I have 13 days before I have to fight 9 miles again. That’s a lot of good solid time….if I dedicate myself to them.
2 miles tomorrow. Make yourself proud running them, Diane.
2 solid, proud miles tomorrow are > 9 miles that never mattered!
Ciao for now….Diane