……….for fixing my perspective! I’ve been looking ahead all week to my Sunday long run, and quite frankly….it’s been worrying me. Sunday asks for NINE miles! 9.
That number scares me, because it’s unlike anything I have ever done before. I’ve learned something about myself. I let the unknown scare me. This trait is familiar. I’ve always wanted to KNOW. If you have a choice between “not knowing” and “knowing”……who the heck would pick “not knowing”? Well, the answer is…lots of people. The “not knowing” is the fundamental and beautiful part of one of life’s greatest gifts…..the element of surprise!
I’ve wrestled this alligator once before in my life (well, twice actually). With the advent of modern sonogram technology, during my pregnancies with my two daughters, I had to choose between “knowing” and “not knowing” if I was having a little boy or a little girl. All my life, when I envisioned having children, I thought the same thing…..if I have an opportunity to “know”, well d@mn…..then I want to know if I’m shopping for pink or blue!
But when the moment of truth came, and the sonogram tech asked me….an answer popped out that surprised the hell out of me. I said, “I don’t want to know, because life brings so few pleasant surprises…and this is one of them. “ <chirp, chirp> Who said that? Where did that come from?
Well, it came from me. From the inner depths of my soul. Where fear was overridden by the excitement, the anticipation of my future joy! Bingo, there it is.
Marathon Brian said the same thing to me yesterday. He said, “don’t be scared of the 9 miles Diane. It’s not like it’s gonna kill you! Be excited for it…..it’s something you have never done before, and that’s exciting”. WOW.
I heard his words repeating in my head all day. As if it were a pat of butter slowly melting into a warm slice of toast. The words, the thought, the idea of being excited about Sunday and the 9 miles seemed so foreign at first. But within a number of hours….I could feel my thoughts start to change. I felt my competitive drive building. I felt my thoughts overpowering my feelings. My mind was taking over. I started to wish it was Sunday already….I was getting, well….yes, excited! How freaking cool!
I got up today and ran my 2.5 miles with so much energy and confidence because of what Marathon Brian effectively did. He reminded me of Who I Am, not Who I Used To Be. I am a runner, dammit! I’ve been running for almost a year now! I ran 7.5 miles just two weeks ago! And not only did it NOT kill me….I kicked its butt and spent the rest of the day doing chores and housework as if it was nothin! I am a runner! I have been building strength, and endurance, and muscles…..yeah, muscles…ME, muscles! And I am SO ready to run these 9 miles. I am going to wave to the Alpaca. And climb those hills. And when I’m done…….. Nothing, no amount of miles between here and that Half Marathon in April are EVER going to scare me enough so I forget Who I Am……ever again!!
Whew….there, I got it out!
So, Thank you Marathon Brian, for helping me see how much I have changed. Sometimes we need that external reminder of our progress, because inside we’re all a bunch of kids afraid of the first day of school!
Your challenge for today —> Go find someone you trust, and ask them to remind you that you’ve come a long way, baby! Because chances are, you have! …..and you have just lost sight of it. Being reminded in this positive way is VERY MOTIVATING! Trust me 🙂
Ciao for now…….Diane