The morning after my “pep talk” from Marathon Brian, the alarm went off at 5am, as usual, and I got up, got ready, laced up the sneakers and went outside for my 2 mile run. It was a gorgeous morning, a little cool, still dark, and quiet. Just the way I like it. But it didn’t really matter if I liked it. That was irrelevant today. I was out here to Do a Job, and That Job Needed to be Done….No Matter What.
Bucking Up meant I had thrown down the gauntlet. Run the D@mn 2 miles, Diane. Run them. No walking. Run. Slow it down as slow as you need to. Go slower than you walk for God sake….but Run them. It’s only 2 miles after all. So that was the Job that needed Doing. Let’s Roll.
The first mile felt awesome. Blah Blah Blah…it always does. It’s mile 2 that matters. That’s where I hit the street that I used to call “the Hill“. Remember that? Diane vs “the Hill”? Yea. Only, the problem is…..it only felt like a hill because I weighed 277 pounds. It’s NOT really a Hill. It’s an incline. It’s uphill, Ok, I’ll give myself that. But I made this street into a nemesis of sorts, and now…everytime I come to it, my heart starts beating out of my chest; my lungs seize up like I’m not getting enough air; and my mind wusses out, and quits…and Oila— there I am, walking up the d@mn not-a-hill-Hill! This experience has taught me to be careful what you make a nemesis. Be careful what you choose to be afraid of. Because without realizing it, what you are doing is creating an obsacle for yourself. One that you are going to have to force yourself to battle later on. What I’ve learned from this experience is this. It’s better not to be afraid. Of Anything. Just don’t. Be curious. Be inquisitive. Be interested. Wonder. But DON’T Build It (whatever IT is) Up to be Something Worth Being Afraid Of. Save yourself the time and energy of battling that dragon later on!
So, mile 2 started at the bottom that stupid scary street. But the thing is. THAT was yesterday. And this is NOW. Post-gauntlet. When I was tying up my sneakers, back in our bedroom, in the dark….I had already decided. I had Chosen. I made the Decision that I AM running that d@mn incline …..at whatever speed it needs…but I’m running it. Period. Buck Up!!
So….how did it go? Oh I kicked its butt. Did you really ever Doubt me? Shame, shame on you!! Oh, I’m not gonna lie, I got to the top and said a Halleluia! But I caught my breath, drank some Vitacoco, and finished the rest of the .75 miles after the hill to complete my two miles like it was nothing. That really made me stop and think. The .75 miles AFTER that uphill bit felt soooo comfortable. What does that teach me? Well, it teaches me that I wasn’t tired at all. I had alot of strength, and a lot of energy. What I was …was short on was gumption. LOL, you know gumption. That fire that lives in your belly, that you have to dig down deep sometimes to find….but when you do….you become Bad @ss. Yup, Gumption! Find Yours!
I found mine today, and it helped me climb that not-a-hill-Hill. And the best part is this. Now I KNOW! I KNOW that I can kick its butt anytime I want.
Gumption. It’s about as delicious as Coconut Cake! Except you can eat it all day, every day, guilt-free!
Ciao for now…….Diane