I’m just back from Florida, visiting my Mom. It was great fun, alot of sun, alot more HEAT! But all in all, a really good trip. I ran some, WALKED alot! As I walked through Disney World day after day, I was kind of pleased that I ended many days having been in motion for 8 or more hours. I had an epiphany halfway through the trip, realizing that on Marathon Day — I will be running, walking, moving toward the finish line for between 5 and 1/2 and 6 1/2 hours (if I’m lucky!)
So, it was kind of , sort of, a green light indicator that I had the stamina. The endurance was growing inside me. LMAO, don’t get me wrong…..what I did wandering from Space Mountain to Splash Mountain was nuthin’ like what I’m up against on Jan 13, 2013. But….there was a time when an hour or two away from the Couch would make me shake with withdrawal…..so……progress is AWESOME!
I hit the treadmill this morning, back to the routine. It felt good to do 2 miles again, at my new routine 5.2 treadmill speed — that’s a consistent 11:30 minute mile. A 30 second improvement on every-single-mile. LOVE IT! Gotta keep shaving those 30 seconds off. More. MORE. M.O.R.E.!!
Home from vacation, I have to confess that I failed in the food-control department. UGH Again Diane!!! The week started off Very very good. I made awesome food choices, on top of the walking and drinking plenty of water. I was so proud of myself. Half way through the trip, the eating out started to chip away at my resolve. The food choices began to suffer, and my “tree-bending-in-the-wind” strategy ended, and I broke. Pizza, Chinese Food, Macaroni Grill, Movie Theater Popcorn. UGH, it was awful. All those awesome salads and healthy choices……it was as if they didn’t happen. The discouragement began to wash over me, and became disgust. Disgust with myself.
I mean, WHY? WHY Diane, can’t you just keep it together? Is food really that much of a control over you? Christ it feels that way sometimes, and those feelings immediately spur on my hopelessness, and before long — I hate myself and I feel so weak, and awful. Very Un-Athlete. Very Non-Bas-@ss. All the opposite feelings from what I want to be feeling. Makes me cry. And I don’t wanna cry anymore. Not over this. 🙁
I dragged my sorry fat @ss to the laptop and began searching for my positive affirmations. Even though I felt lower than the gutter, I sent myself on a mission to find the thoughts that would pick me up. I know it works. Luckily it works even when I don’t give a S#it. So on tinybuddha.com, I found this wonderful affirmation. Like dropping an Alkaseltzer in a glass of water — the quote began to dissolve in my brain, and almost immediately — it began to calm the uneasiness in my thoughts.
” You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are. — Yogi Bhajan”
Humph. Yea. It is So Easy to Forget my Power. Wow. Here I am feeling so slug-like. So “belly dragging on the ground” low. But what about my Power? Where did it go? I feel like maybe I left it in Florida. But — I didn’t leave it anywhere. I did something worse. Duh — I just plain forgot I had it at all! BIGGEST DUH Diane!!
D@mn girl, you have to stop forgetting your Power. Remember what you are capable of. Go dig that Half Marathon Medal out of the Drawer and wear it or hang it out in the open. LOOK AT IT! REMEMBER WHAT IT TOOK TO EARN IT. Uh Yah!!. YOU EARNED IT girl. They didn’t just give it to ya. YOU E.A.R.N.E.D. it — for 4 months you worked to EARN it.
So, I think I want to try getting down to “Marathon business”. I want to get to work, and have a Goal in front of me that I am working on. Even if it’s just a mind trick. So, I’m putting an end to this Phase 1 and Phase 2 Training Plan — and I’m merging them together. Beyond that, not too much is changing in what I will be doing each day — I’m just officially starting Marathon Training TOMORROW!! 27 Weeks!
For the rest of July and through August, I’m still going to be running 2 miles about 3 times a week, then I’ll do Intervals once a week, and I will begin to add some distance to my Sunday long run. The Serious Serious running still starts in early September BUT…..starting tomorrow — it’s Game On!
I really think I need this. I think I need to be working toward something. Even though I already have been — I think I need the dedication to help me “Feel” like a Runner Again. I’ve been missing that in the downtime, and I’m going to try this and hope it works for me, mentally.
No hurting myself. No risking injury. Just Goal Setting. A Dream Becomes a Goal…..with one good night sleep.
Ciao for now…….Diane