Monthly Archives: March 2020

good medicine

good medicine

Social distance may keep you well, but activity, exercise will keep you sane.

This week, almost half the nation, employed in non-critical jobs, worked from home…or didn’t work at all. Trying to keep the world population from becoming sick with the COVID-19 coronavirus, is requiring drastic measures. Measures that are scaring people.

Will you or your loved ones get sick? If it happens, will you become one of the ones who end up in the ICU on a hard-to-find breathing machine? Or worse. Will your employer keep you on, or furlough you until this is all over? How long before this is all over? Even with all that has transpired already, has this even started yet?

We don’t know.

And that’s scary in itself.

When this all began in earnest about 2 weeks ago, I wasn’t self monitoring very well. I was calming myself with food. Eating my way through my fear and anxiety. The one blessing is that I monitor my blood sugars every morning and evening. I didn’t need to get on the scale, or attempt to squeeze into my jeans to know….Diane, you’re going down the wrong road. My blood sugars were signaling me. The return of my morning headaches were signaling me. And now more than ever is a time to be healthy. To stay healthy. To focus.

So that’s what I did.

It was easy enough. I just laced up my sneakers and went for a walk. Every day. Two times a day. Three. Whatever it takes…to let the fresh air into my brain…and chase the thoughts away. For a little while.

I work for a really great company. Trust me, they want hard work out of me, and they get it. But they also care about us, their employees. Enough to send an email to us, their employees, reminding us to take care of ourselves through this. Read a book, meditate, phone a friend, take a walk….was their advice.

Now that’s investment advice I will take.

My new routine has become…get up early. Check in, read and respond to critical email that came in overnight from the global offices, sipping my first cup of coffee. Then lace up, and go walk the trails behind my community. Breathe Diane. This coronavirus is out there. But it’s not here. Not in the air that you are breathing into your lungs, not in the oxygen that is filling our brain and cleansing your thoughts and your cells. Breathe. Heal. Let it Go. For 30 minutes.

Then, I go back to it. I work. I’m a leader, a manager, a mentor, a problem solver, an innovator, a thought leader. I work until lunch time…then I eat a small healthy meal of whole foods…and lace up again. Repeat the walk through nature, down and around the neighborhood. Sometimes I see a neighbor walking a dog, or a runner, or a cyclist. It’s remarkably quiet out there. People ARE staying inside. I just hope they aren’t locked inside their homes in fear.

Come out friends. Please don’t gather in groups. Still keep your distance, but it’s a big world. Come out into your little corner. Come breathe the fresh air and find some peace, some space, some sanity. It’s good medicine.

I can’t call it a habit. It’s only been a week of this new “non-normal”. But I see it for what it is….it’s my lifeline to staying sane.

Breathe friends….this will come to an end. And we’ll all come back together and hug the hell out of each other. Then begins the social non-distancing times! Good times. Nah….Great Times :).

Ciao for now….Diane

social distancing

social distancing

The world is having a problem right now….with this COVID-19 Coronavirus. But in a peculiar way….social distancing has made us feel closer.

Nothing makes our first world problems feel small, than a Real World Problem. I’m writing tonight hoping my biggest hopes that two weeks from now we are all breathing a big sigh of relief that the extreme measures we are taking now, will have worked.

Worked, by that I mean…delayed people getting sick, so we don’t ovewhelm the health care systems resulting in tremendous loss of life. Flatten the Curve, as we have all come to hear. But I also hope that the economic effects of the extreme measures of social distancing and sheltering in place dont have depression-like effects on our economy and those we love.

Peter, the girls and I are all working from home now. Nestled into “home offices” around our house, taking care of business inside our own coccoon of sorts. The car doesn’t leave the driveway unless Peter ventures out to the grocery store. Man – the Giant supermarket looks like the old Soviet Union. Shelves are bare of …..almost everything. The president says our supply chain is f.i.n.e…..G.R.E.A.T, even. Well, the store shelves paint an entirely different picture. We haven’t fallen into the scary abyss of hoarding. Not t.p., nor hand sanitizer (LOL, we don’t have any) and not food. We’re just trying to buy our normal groceries, but the sight of the store sure does stimulate the urge to grab whatever they have.

Around the world, some people are living like nothing is happening. It’s so weird. They are roller-blading in San Fran, the beaches are packed in Clearwater, Florida. But here in Maryland, there is a state of emergency. Schools are closed, gatherings of greater than 10 people are forbidden and neighboring states are sheltering in place.

It’s scary. I sure do hope the roller-bladers aren’t ruining this for everyone. Because that is what is at stake right now. Everyone. All of us.

We’ve all turned to Virtual as the real world. Our Facebook Friends are our only friends now. We’re watching each other meal prep and cook and homeschool our kids. We’re exercising to kettlebell workouts together on Zoom. My first Weight Watchers meeting on Saturday will be Virtual. I dunno what that means, but….we all welcome the chance to be together….enough to make us all willing to download whatever and give it a try.

We’ve been asked to separate. To social distance.

What it has taught us is…just how much we value each other.

We want our kinship, each other’s company, the health and well being of our families, the financial solvency of our businesses and livelihoods. We want the community which we collectively comprise.

Perhaps what Coronavirus will teach us when all of this is but a distant memory, is just how much our individual lives are sewn together with those around us. Now that Y.O.U are not there……it has finally dawned on me….that I miss you.

So peculiar….that it takes the separation and isolation from you to remind me how much you mean to me.

They say 8 weeks. Hopefully only 8 weeks. Will you have grown your hair by then? Will your kids be taller? Did you learn to cook while you were away? I don’t know much, aside from this one thing….. I will be home in my small little coccoon…..wishing, praying and sending all good thoughts to your little cocoon.

I miss you. You’ve never felt closer….now that you are so far away.

Ciao for now….Diane

the secrets I don’t tell anyone

the secrets I don’t tell anyone

I cried a lot today.

In the shower. In my car. Maybe it was good to let the sadness out.

When I’m doing really well….I believe the things I tell myself.

The secrets I never say out loud in front of anyone.

Hey, Diane….we’re going to DO THIS, and starting this year – you wont be the FAT GIRL anymore.”

The idea of being able to live some part of my life, as a normal size person, is important to me. I want to feel it…before I die.

When I’m stumbling, failing…I give up that dream, and the real secret comes out.

….NOPE, not gonna happen Diane. You. ARE. The Fat Girl. That’s who you will ever be in this life. That’s you.

The tears…..could water a million gardens.

Tomorrow, I will try again.

I will begin with an honest food journal. Something I abandoned a few weeks ago, when the downward spiral began.

This is fear of success.

I don’t know what happens after 197 lbs, so I’m sabotaging myself so I can stay in the safety of the place I know.

But, I don’t want to. I need to figure this out.

Start small, Diane. Start with honesty with food. It all begins and ends there.

Ciao for now….and thank you for catching me today. For helping me not stay alone in my sadness…