I found myself in Paris

I found myself in Paris

Back from Paris — after a  w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l. week.  I can’t think of a bad moment.  It was all great or amazing.   Getting up early this morning wasn’t bad.    Getting on the scale today…..well… that was a bit harder.


I guess there is payment for the duck a l’orange, the champagne, the croque monsieur, and the quiche lorraine.  Ok.  Ok.  I’ll pay.  3.8 pounds, I’ll P.A.Y!!  It was worth every bite.  While we enjoyed it all — the sights, the sounds, the food, the snow…..I spent the week learning, and observing, and finding out a few things about myself.  About my beliefs.

First thing — I L.O.V.E.D. being about to climb the 400+ steps of the Notre Dame, and the 300+ steps at the Arch de Triumph, and all the other steps we faced —- and there were plenty!!  I forced myself to recall the Diane from a few years ago, and I don’t think she would have made it.  Poor girl.  Au Revoir old Diane.

Next thing — I L.O.V.E.D. being busy all day, and only eating during meal times.  In France, there is no such thing as eating while walking.  The whole – To Go – culture does not exist.  I mean, unless you are a tourist at a crepe stand…. in Paris, people value their time.  They value it enough to take the time — to sit down in a cafe, and savor a cup of cafe au lait and a croissant and good company.  Eat intentionally.  Then walk intentionally.  Live intentionally.    A french man in a cafe told us that if you see a person walking the street with a huge Starbucks coffee in their hand (yes — Starbucks exist there too) — that person is probably an American.  The french just don’t do it.   Venti, grande, heck even tall — is too large.  And how can you enjoy it if you are rushing.  Hmmmm.   Wow.  What a concept.   C’est magnifique!

Last thing — I L.O.V.E.D. looking in all the windows at the french fashion.  We were in Paris after all, the center of the universe, paying homage to her majesty — Coco Chanel.  As I admired all the clothing, Chanel and others — I fought back the sad thoughts.  Ohh, you know them.  The ones where I imagine the figurine wearing the most beautiful yellow, black and white floral dress saying, “Pardon Madame, but you could not fit your right thigh in this dress!”  And she’d be right!  Or when I was walking the streets in my comfy Walking Company Store walking shoes — watching all the french mademoiselles walking in their heeled boots.  I felt I could see in their eyes what they were thinking  (in their little cute french accents) — “Pardon Madam, but perhaps if you were not so fat, you could wear the heels, …just like we do. ”

Ahh Merci Mademoiselle.  Merci.  There’s an idea!!  Oui.  Oui.  I’m sure that was supposed to be  a n.i.c.e. f.r.e.n.c.h. compliment.  I’m sure it was.  Yea, Merci.

Well…..don’t get me wrong.  I did NOT spend the week hatin’ on myself.  Quite the opposite.  I spent the week feeling light on my feet, and active, and happy.  Happy with myself,  happy with my family,  and happy with where I am in my life.         B.u.t. —-

—– I ALSO decided…that I’m NOT satisfied.  No Monsieur.  No Mademoiselle.  I want more.  No, not more s.t.u.f.f.  More p.e.a.c.e.   P.e.a.c.e. with myself.  I want to know that i COULD have a pretty yellow, black and white floral dress, if I wanna.   I want to fit BOTH of my thighs into that thing!  Right AND Left!   I want to walk the streets in heels….er,again.. if I wanna!  I want to Do more.  Achieve more.  Lose more.  and Weigh less.

So, its time to get back to work. G.A.M.E  Back O.N!  Time for Action!  Action changes thoughts, and thoughts change Beliefs.

With running on my mind, one of my final observations of Paris was this.   The runners there are plentiful….and boy are they s.k.i.n.n.y!!  Holy Moly!  Men, women, poodles…..all with the skinniest legs I’ve ever seen.  Barely enough fat to keep them warm as they ran in the cold spring mornings along the Seine.  French runners may be the ultimate gazelles, LOL, or at least they may believe they are.  I will be happy to have thighs twice the size of a french runner…..mainly cuz I’m not willing to take up the awful smoking habit likely needed to curb my appetite ‘french style.’

Merci beaucoup Paris!  Thank you for all my lessons, and for a wonderful week for our family.  Thanks for the inspiration.  Save a little yellow, black and white floral dress for me,…..just in case,  merci!

Ciao for now….Diane


4 Responses »

  1. remember that old Diane? the one who second guessed herself, the one who doubted herself, the one who hated on herself? Poor girl. Au Revoir old Diane. Wow. What a concept. C’est magnifique!

  2. Diane: you are an incredible writer. Not only do I read because I want to receive the message you share but also to be delightfully entertained by your style and wit. I wish you could see the smile on my face as I read this or hear me read passages aloud in a French accent. I had a great time with this as my first read of the day. Merci Mademoiselle. “Achieve more. Lose more. Weigh less.” Yes!!!! I was full of doubt about some work I have to get done in the next two weeks. My doubt was taking over, my energy was beginning to get drained and worry and fear were setting in. But I am going to fight to get the work done, to climb that mountain and to live believing in possibility and working towards that. Au Revoir old Carmen. Your entry inspired me Diane. If was a blessing and a joy to read. C’est magnifique!

    • You honor me Monsieur! I often write to myself…and forget people are out there. LOL

      Our battles are very similar! But we are fighters. Time is the cloth we wrap ourselves in every day….neither enemy nor friend. Just there. A sandbox, so to speak, in which we build our day, every day. WHAT we build….ahhhh….this is where we come in!

      Go create Carmen. I have confidence in you. Diane

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