My mind and my activity is in a state of transition, and it has me off-balance.  Resting my foot from running has been the right decision.   It’s feeling stronger everyday, and I don’t feel any real pain sensations from regular walking or other activities.  I’m keeping my promise to myself to keep active by doing my Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred DVD.  I’m not really sure why it takes 30 days for some people to get shredded.  Jillian shredded my butt in just 2 days.  (HaHa!), but I keep going anyway.  My arm muscles, leg muscles, heck even my chest muscles ache.   The ache is a good thing…..I know, I know Jillian.  I heard you.  “It’s my body changing, it’s fear leaving the body”..…I know, I know.  But mostly, it’s my body saying “You Win Jillian, You Win!!  I’m Shredded!”

But this too is another form of transition.  Through the Jillian DVD, my body is transitioning fat into muscle.   My activity is transitioning from running to strength training.   My mind is transitioning from half marathon to full marathon.    Transitioning,  transitioning, transitioning.   Mostly, I just feel a little bit lost, a little bit out of my element.  Is this what I’m supposed to feel during transition?  I’m really not sure.  Well, let’s go find out what transition is first ……then we can explore how it feels.   Makes sense.   Dictionary, Open Sez-a-me!!

Transition:  the process or period of changing from one state or condition to another.

Of course reading that jut makes me need to look up Change,  Here we go…..

Change:  the act of becoming different.

Yuck, different.  I don’t like different that much.  I like sameness.  Same breakfast, same lunch, same routine, same exercise, same running track.  Yea, sameness —  she ‘s my friend.  I like how she fits like a comfortable favorite sweater.   She doesn’t rub me the wrong way, or leave me guessing about what’s going to happen next.  I know exactly what I get with her….I get The. Same . Result.  Every.  Time.

Hold on!  Wait a minute!   Not so fast! What if I don’t want the same result this time?  I mean, because I already know I don’t.  This time with my weight watching, I don’t want it to end up the same way it always has…..yea, the same “quit and regain it all” story.  NO!  N. Freakin’ O.

And I don’t want my running habit to suffer the same fate as some of my old attempts at fitness…..with my running shoes and Under Armour piled in the back of my closet next to my gym bag and locker combination lock.  So,  hold on….I don’t want sameness after all.  I DO want it to be different.

~Ok Diane, then calm yourself down.   Different is what Change leads to.  But you have to be willing to go through change if you want different.

Um, Ok.  I’m listening.  I, can, become, ok, with, change….I can try.

~ Then, try to stop feeling so uncomfortable being in transition.  Transition is simply a period of time in which change is happening. It’s doesn’t last forever.  The ironic thing about transition is that all the newness and uncertainty that comes with the changes happening during this time……soon normalizes.

Normalizes??

{Opening the book, flip to N…}

Normalize:  to bring or return to normal.

Yes, exactly, see…..during transition, your mind and your body and your spirit begins a process of adopting the change — taking it in and making it comfortable — making the change feel like it was ALWAYS there.  You adapt to the change, accepting it little by little, until more and more….all the newness s.l.o.w.l.y. converts over to sameness.  But not the stagnant sameness you had before.  The new motivating sameness that excites you, and drives you to do it again, and again and again.  This is very much what I was doing when I learned how to run.  But because when I started, I didn’t have a competence to hold on to…I didn’t have anything to clutch onto, and in many ways that was T.H.E  B.E.S.T!    Not having a strength MADE me hungry to change…..so I could build one.

Now that I have a base of strength in running……I’m back to being AFRAID to change what I know.   Ooooooooh.  Those sneaky old habits creep back in through the back door when you’re not looking.  Be mindful.  Keep your eyes open for them!

So, I’m going to PUSH myself to Accept Change.  I’m going to try to Enjoy the Transition.  I’m going to go back to the habit of searching out new information, and Learning Learning Learning.    There’s so much to Learn on my Journey to Run a Marathon!   It’s only logical that new changes are coming.  Changes that will help me progress, and grow, and adapt to allow me to become Capable of the 26.2 miles.

So, not only am I in transition, but this blog is in transition too.  When I started this blog in November 2011 — the I.D.E.A. that I, Diane Robertson, would ever dream of running a marathon…..HA! ….wasn’t even a spark in the universe.   My Doubts were Bigger than my Dreams back then.  Now, my Dreams are Bigger than I am.  And for now…that’s So OK.  For now, my Dreams are serving as a Kite…….. a light winged frame,  flying in the wind tied down only by a thin string anchored to my heart.  How high and how far I will go…..only the wind can say.

So, if you’ve stuck with me this far…..I hope you will stay with me as this Blog Transitions along with me into My Marathon Journey!  I’m not going to change the name of the blog, or start a new one.  I’m going to stay here…..where it feels like home…..where the success of my Half Marathon Dream can feed, guide and inspire all my future dreams…….which live out there in the universe……as Sparks which haven’t seen the light of day….Yet!

Ciao for now……..Diane