I’ve been gloomy.  Sort of direction-less.  I’ve allowed myself to get lost in the dark – a.g.a.i.n.   It’s amazing how much Life really is a cycle.  It has its stages of Birth, and Growing, and Succeeding, and Tripping and Failing, and Scarring and Repairing…..and ReStarting.   Not until the Ultimate L.A.S.T. moment — is it really really Over   Yet too many times during the cycles of llfe….I get lost.  I lose my way.  I f.o.r.g.e.t.  that after each amazing moment where I REACH my goal….the adrelleine rush eventually has to come to an end…..and then comes the time when the ReStarting work needs to be done again.

Ohhh, I HATE THAT.  Can’t I stay in the H.I.G.H. of the Marathon celebration?  Can’t I just STAY feeling On Top Of The World?  Hell, where did THAT feeling go???  Who stole it?

Nobody stole it love, it’s just not meant to be perpetual.  It doesn’t STAY forever.  Here, think of it like this.  If it stayed all the time, it would be like having Christmas every day.  You can’t live everyday in glow of red, green and gold.  You  have to let it go, pack it up and return it to the basement,……so when it comes back around again…….it feels as a.m.a.z.i.n.g. as it did the first time.

Ahhhh.  Ok.  I get it.  But …..I m.i.s.s.  i.t!

Yea, that’s ok.  Let’s start working on bringing it back.  Let’s re-start.

Yea, I want that.  [And THERE it is.  The missing link.]  Whatever I do next….I have to WANT it.   I found this poem and it seemed so relevant to how I have been feeling lately.

“When you find yourself cocooned in isolation

and cannot find your way out of the darkness

remember that this is similar to the place

where caterpillars go to grow their wings.”

— Unknown

So here, in bed — recovering from my flu or stomach bug, or whatever bit me — I’m reminding myself of the habits that were part of me — and I’m bringing them back.  I haven’t lost anything since the Finish Line.  No Way!!!  I’ve gained.  [LOL, not just weight, OTHER things!  oh. You. are .funny!  Hysterical!  Good thing I have a sense of humor!!!]  Besides some weight…..I’ve gained incredible confidence.  I can DO so much.  And Now I KNOW it.  I just need to — Re-Start.

So here is my Plan to Get Diane Out of Her Cocoon, and turn her into the Butterfly she was meant to be.

The ButterFly Plan!

1) Relax.   This isn’t a race.  This is a journey.   Enjoy the view.  Take time for diversions.  Straight lines are RARELY the most interesting paths – no matter where you are going.

2) Eat for strength — eat like an athlete.  Fuel your engine.  Remember how Kick @ss you felt when you did this during Marathon training??  It can feel like that again.  Tomorrow, we begin.  Two to three days of clean eating, and your body will be purged and feeling better already!  Trust!

3) Treat yourself once a week.  Decide what you want.  Make a list if you need help to figure it out.  Plan a day for it and teach yourself that Nothing is Off Limits.  It’s only a matter of waiting until Treat Day.  And remember to allow yourself to feel the JOY.  You’ve been living underneath the weight of g.u.i.l.t. for soooo long —- Let Yourself Feel J.O.Y!

4) Run your Half Marathon Training Plan with enthusiasm!   Set goals for being better than last year!  And oh — even though its cold out there — get back outside for long runs on Sundays.

5) Restart your Meditation daily.  It felt sooo good to do it.

6) 30 Day Shred — Ok, we l.o.v.e. this!  But everyday is too much.  Choose 3 days a week to start, and see where  we can go from there.

7) Zumba toning on Thursdays!  Yay baby!  Love it.

and last but not least — remember why we are doing this.  Oh yes, the vanity inside me says — it’s for swimsuit season and shorts and flirty summer dresses.  I won’t lie — it’s for ALL of that.  But none of those things are “who I am”.  When I ask myself — why are we doing this?  It’s because…a couch potato is NOT who I am anymore.   a binge-er is NOT who I am anymore.  So then, who are you Diane?

I am a Strong, Centered, Happy Woman.

That —- is my definition of a Butterfly.  What’s yours?   Figure it out, and — let’s go Earn Them Wings!

Ciao for now…..Diane