If you know me, you know Saturday is Accountability Day. It’s a habit I started well over a year ago — as a mechanism to keep a promise to myself to go to WW every Saturday morning, no matter how my week went. Good, Bad, or Ugly.
Well, it’s Friday night. Accountability Day “Eve” 🙂 I find it very hard to Be Present in the moment on Friday. I can’t help it. 30 years of chasing my tail, chasing the scale…doesn’t die easily. Let’s be honest, Accountability Day over time, has become Judgment Day! I’ve long past created the habit of going to WW on Saturday morning. In fact, I’ve evolved and added a kettlebell workout right after WW, so Saturday morning is a combo.
[Did you also just get the image of a pretzel nugget stuffed with cheese? LMAO, sometimes food is a sickness…sorry, I’ll just keep moving.]
Tomorrow has the opportunity to be a BIG day….or a BIG letdown. I’m sitting at 73.2 pounds lost. Only 1.8 pounds more and I reach the 75 pound milestone. At WW that means I get a charm for my key chain. They give out charms for losses of 5, 10, 15, 20, 25lbs, but then it’s a long road to 50, and an even longer road to 75lbs. So, I’m kissing distance to the 75 lb mark, and I WANT IT!
Who really cares about the charm….I don’t really care about it. What I really want is the payoff. I want to BE PAID for the hard work of eating well and working out and being GOOD.
Ooooh Diane. Remember David. You’re NOT trying to BE good. You’re just striving to BE.
Breathe.
It’s just sooo hard on Friday. I’m at the eve of Pay Day. Weight loss Pay Day. And I want a deposit in my bank. I WANT 1.8 pounds to get me to the elusive 75 pound loss.
I walk into Peter’s office at home tonight and sit on his lap and tell him about this. He kisses my cheek and says, “Diane, remember your jeans are getting loose. Remember?”
I remember.
He says, “if it doesn’t happen tomorrow, it’ll happen the next week.” I’ve been paid already in his love and tenderness.
Peter is reminding me that I’m not letting myself BE …not letting myself BE happy, BE satisfied, BE proud…
So, I’m trying to reframe Saturday Morning. I don’t want it to be accountability day anymore…because I’ve achieved that goal. And just the sound of it makes me feel like somehow I need to be forced to be accountable. That’s so not true. I am completely accountable to myself. I own my choices. Some weeks I give, other weeks I take. I got OK with that a long time ago. Peter is reminding me of that skill. Pull it out girl, you might need it tomorrow!
Do you remember when you were a kid and your mom would take you to your friend’s house for a Play Date? Well, tomorrow I’m meeting Kelly at WW for a meeting, then we are going to the 9am kettlebell workout together. Tomorrow morning, Kelly and I are having a play date! We’re driving ourselves….haha…but I’m excited just the same. I’m enjoying thinking about Saturday morning as Saturday Play Date instead of Accountability Day.
Tomorrow I’m going to weigh whatever the heck I’m going to weigh. That’s the unknown part. Yet, what matters most is the known part. Tomorrow morning I’m going to sit and sip coffee with my friend Kelly, soaking in some new life lessons at WW and enjoying the company…then we’re going on a kettlebell play date. <3 <3 <3
Saturdays are an easy place to BE. L.O.V.E.
Ciao for now….Diane