It’s Sunday.  And I spent it thinking about the 9 miles I didn’t run today.

9 miles is what the schedule asked fo today — and I just wasn’t ready.  I’ve been missing runs and I knew I couldn’t do 9. I went to bed last night with intentions to get up.  Or so I said.  I asked Peter to set the alarm for 6am.  I woke and took my gel.  45 mins later, I was supposed to get up and go.  But I didn’t.  The worry of 9 miles kept me in bed.

I spent the day doing a million errands.  I was active and busy and ate pretty well.  But the 9 miles I didn’t run…..well….I carried them like an albatross around my neck.  Even now, as the night wears down….and I prepare for bed…..I’m bargaining with myself that maybe I can run 5 miles tomorrow to make up for what I didn’t do today.

My Inner Voice screams, “S.T.O.P. Diane!”  Just let it go.  Let the 9 miles go.  It’s sooo not about the miles, 9, or otherwise.  Just remember last time you ran this Half Marathon schedule.  You weren’t READY to run 9 miles then either.  LMAO…w.h.o. is e.v.e.r.  ready to run 9 miles anyway??  But the difference between last time and this time is this.  Last time……you weren;t scared.  You got up, and went out the door with fierce tenacity.  You went.  And did it.

Suuuuureee….it wasn’t perfect.  You didn’t run every step.  It was a struggle.  A fight.  But you went out there, and fought the fight!  And came home like a sweaty, ridiculous, happy mess!

Those memories of who I was back then, and how I chose to face my challeneges….really made an impact on me today.   So, I’m heading to bed tonight, Sunday night, with a plan.  No….I’m not running 5 miles.  I’m not going to try to make up for the 9 miles I didn’t run.  They are gone.  Unimportant.  What matters……ALL that maters….are the miles left in front of me in training….AND..what I choose to do with them.

Tomorrow is two miles.  So.  I’m going to run 2 solid, strong miles.  Run.  No messing around.  I’m going to retrace my steps.  Fight to find “the switch” again…..and get back on track.  And pick up from here.  I have 13 days before I have to fight 9 miles again.  That’s a lot of good solid time….if I dedicate myself to them.

2 miles tomorrow.  Make yourself proud running them, Diane.

2 solid, proud miles tomorrow  are > 9 miles that never mattered!

Ciao for now….Diane