Overcast skies were overhead as I biked to Weight Watchers this morning.  The temp was glorious.  Ooooh, I am getting excited, anticipating the change of seasons.  Fall, autumn, whatever you are called — come to mama!

The topic at today’s Weight Watchers Meeting was — “Ya Gotta Believe”.  F.R.E.A.K.Y!    I mean, that’s Karma calling out my name right?  Just yesterday, I was contemplating this very thought.  What you Believe….Is What is Gonna Happen.  So today’s topic for consideration was….What Do you Believe?  And When you Stop Believing — what do you do about it so you get Back to the Business of Believing?

When I chose to share — here’s what came out f my mouth.  {ParaPhrasing} “I like pushing myself to new goals.  But when I stop believing, it’s because of Fear.  I’m letting my Old Self convince me that my New Self can’t do what I’m trying to do.”  As I sit back and reflect on what I said — First, let’s celebrate that there is an Old Self and a New Self.  OHHH YEAH.  I am so dramatically changed from who I was a year ago, that there’s barely a resemblance between these two people.  I mean, we share a birthday, but  that’s it.  Nothing else…not even a shoe size.  I lost a shoe size in those pounds too!

So if so much has changed, why am I still listening to that Old Self?  What did she know that was so worth listening to anyway?  The answer is — Not much.  It’s just a habit that needs to be broken.  It’s hard at 46 years old — to venture out into the unknown (all 26.2 miles of it), without a Compass.  But you know what?  I’ve decided that it might just be even harder still — to venture out into the unknown with an Old Broken Compass, which only has a track record of sending me to the wrong place every single time.  So — I’m going into this one on my own, hands free, leaving the Old Girl behind.

More Karma!  My daily affirmation post-it notes served up this one today.  Get ready, it’s a good one:

“It is not enough to take steps which may someday lead to a goal, each step must be itself a goal and a step likewise.” — GOETHE

Every positive step I take feeds my confidence and determination.  So I’m going to stop tearing myself down for being imperfect, I’m going to stop SEEING the imperfect more clearly than I see the positive steps.  I think Marathon Brian is out there smiling.  I’m getting it dude, I’m getting it.  Hard headed.  Hard headed.

Tomorrow is Sunday.  Long Run day.  I’m going to do 4 miles.  Slowly.  With Determination.  Without Stopping.  No Walking.  As Slowly aS it Takes.  With Joy.  Hopefully with Somewhat Cooler temps.  But if not……Oh Well.

Ciao for now…..Diane